Vendetta: Keep your enemies close, the BB gun closer

In my effort to build a bird nerd, garden paradise, I’ve bought a BB gun to take out the undesireables — i.e. European Starlings. These invasive birds poke around my backyard, bug the natives in the feeders (like the AHEM Towhee pcitured below), and generally stink up the joint. Plus, they have some interesting feathers that I’m going to rope BP into showing me how to use for a top secret midge pattern.

Black-headed grosbeak

But as luck would have it, these starlings are smarter than anything else in my yard. I keep poking my $29 BB gun out the shower window, lining up my shot and missing. And every time I miss the damn things, they get cagier. Nonetheless, I will prevail. A man needs an adversary. And apparently, some target practice. I used to be deadly with a BB gun.

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About mstansberry

Matt Stansberry currently lives in Eugene, Oregon with his wife and son.
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11 Responses to Vendetta: Keep your enemies close, the BB gun closer

  1. r~ says:

    You could lure them into a trap with the promise of relocation to Sea World before you wacked them. Sure makes them easier to hit when you can do it mafioso style.

    r~

  2. Bpaul says:

    (whispered: — that’s a spotted towhee)

    As for R’s comment — just make sure that some of the ones you whack are endangered species — that really makes the whole event feel that much more righteous.

    No, really.

  3. David says:

    Shotgun will take them out.

  4. Guy says:

    Dude, that’s a Rufus Sided Towhee, not a grosbeak. Grosbeaks have big beaks that cross over one another.

  5. Bpaul says:

    Oh, I think I got you on this one Guy. Spotted Towhee, not Rufus Sided I think.

    But Towhee nonetheless.

    Unfortunately, I think I was the one who sent Matt on the wild goose chase thinking these guys were Grosbeaks, I remember talking Grosbeaks when I was over there. I probably hadn’t asked for enough detail of the bird he was describing.

  6. michael says:

    i’m getting an AR-15. my BB skillz blow. effin’ screeching jays!

  7. Did you get a Crossman 760 Pump Master? I had one in college we nicknamed “Black Beauty.” 10 pumps is a .22

    We just had starlings force open the grate over a vent to one of our bathroom fans and build a nest in there. I want to remove it but they’ve got chicks now.

  8. Crossman pump is my bb gun of choice

  9. TMF says:

    Hey Matt–

    I can’t tell the difference between a rufous sided towhee and a spotted towhee.

    But you do have a black headed grosbeak in your flickr sidebar.

    Have a great week.
    MAD

  10. Middle Man says:

    If only we were allowed to have BB guns over here in the UK. You might enjoy this:

    http://caughtinthemiddleman.wordpress.com/2008/02/29/alfred-hitchcock-the-birds/

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